Lighting Up Stories
“The question is not whether or not we are capable of making AI more intelligent than us. The question is, will we be able to live with it?” – Dr. Robert Ford, Westworld (2016). This line from the thought-provoking TV series Westworld perfectly captures the …
Who’s not afraid of talking in front of random people ? And if I hear ‘Hey I’m not !’ It’s because you’ve done it before. So here is the deal, you have an important pitch, an interview in front of a panel of people or …
Some of my friends told me they wanted to give up on their writing career. I know that they have been working very hard for more than 15 years. They wrote screenplays and published some novels. Yet, they don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
They feel like giving up.
It’s understandable. Burnouts, disappointments, and rejections can drive you to the point where you feel like letting go of your dreams. (See post: How to Recover From Burnout) Especially now when competition is tougher than ever.
Myself, 17 years ago, I gave up on my writing. And I tell you what, during that time, I felt as alive as a zombie in The Walking Dead. Dead inside.
Being a writer is tough. Chasing our dreams is hard but it’s also the only way to feel alive. So before you take a reckless decision, please let me give you 10 things you could try to have your mojo back.
When it rains it pours. When I lost my home, my country and became homeless, I also got sick and soon after, my husband passed away. Indeed, when it rains, it pours. Yet, what saved me was my work and my writing.
Putting all my rage and my despair on paper somehow kept me alive. I surrendered to the process of writing and somehow it made it feel slightly more bearable.
Surrender to your despair, to your sadness, to your fatigue. Don’t internalize it, it’s the worst thing you could do – it will soon become some kind of physical disease. So express it, write it and WAIT.
When you have a bad momentum, don’t fight against it. Instead surf the wave, let it take you where it wants. Don’t swim against the current, you’ll lose. Instead wait until it brings you to that peaceful beach.
I read a fantastic book that should be taught in every school: Why we sleep by Dr Matthew Walker. He explains how detrimental lack of sleep is to our body, mind and spirit such as:
Sleeping is far more important than you think. Do yourself a favor and have a minimum of 8-9 hours sleep. Go to bed early, have a nap. After a week, I promise you, you’ll feel stronger mentally and physically.
And more importantly, you’ll be more creative.
Once rested, it’s time to reflect on what made you feel this way. Be honest with yourself. What triggered it?
A rejection? A nasty comment online? An unexpected bill? A launch that didn’t work (again)?
Trace back what caused your misery and expose it to the light.
Now answer this question: Will it matter in five years time? If the answer is no, brush it off.
Maybe you’re sick of your writing, you don’t feel excited about it anymore. I tell you what: it’s time to try something new.
The idea is to give you a proper break. Trying something new will create new neuropathways and will excite your brain cells. You’ll feel a bit more upbeat.
Soon enough, you’ll get an epiphany while doing paddling, martial art or painting.
I ditched my Instagram. I also switched off ALL my notifications, and deleted most of the apps on my phone.
Do you know what happened?
My stress level went right down. Now, I’m only checking my phone when I’m ready for it and not when I’m told to do so.
So liberating!
Tell me the truth, is your life full of duties?
If so, it’s not surprising that you want to give up.
If you don’t plan some kind of reward in your day, your life will soon become like in The Shining: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy“.
Here is the secret though: you have to plan it. If you don’t, I promise you, you’ll do another duty because there is always something to do.
It can be anything you want but it has to be fun FOR YOU. The idea is to plan each day, five things that makes you happy. You’ll get your motivation back sooner than you think.
Walking is the best sport you could ever do.
It increases your energy levels, improves your mood, your memory and sleep, maintains a healthy weight, reduces stress, strengthens your immune system and so on…
Start with 10 minutes a day and increase the duration after a while.
It will make a huge difference to your health and creativity.
Now let’s talk about your writing goals.
The key is this : One step at a time.
This is crucial. Take baby steps.
When Stephen King was asked: ‘How do you write?’ He replied: ‘One word at a time‘.
Simple. It’s okay to dream big but in terms of daily action, it’s best to have small, manageable, happy goals.
If I tell you, write the best screenplay ever now! Your body and mind will shut down automatically.
Now if I tell you: write a scene, AND it doesn’t have to be good, you have the right to get it wrong but just write it. I’m pretty sure you can do that without a sweat. If you do that everyday, you have the first draft of your screenplay finished in two or three months.
Don’t make perfection a goal. Instead, make daily action a habit.
This one is my favorite mantra. This is the first thing my friend and co-writer Kary Oberbrunner taught me and it changed my life. Take imperfect action.
You don’t need to know all the answers, you don’t need to look perfect, you don’t need to be the best writer in the world. You just need to show up and be yourself.
Do you want results? Do one action a day towards your goal. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it has to be regular.
The more actions you take, the more opportunities you get. It’s not witchcraft, it’s science.
When you look at people who succeeded, they didn’t get successful overnight.
It takes a long time to build a career.
It doesn’t matter when you started writing. My point is these people kept practicing again and over again. They accumulated mini-wins one after another. So don’t look at the big picture. Aim for the mini wins. That’s what makes the difference.
One last word… Writing is an adventure. When we read a book or watch a film, we’re looking for answers to this question: How do you survive in this society?
Of course, we don’t say that out loud to ourselves but this is what we’re looking for.
We also write to understand ourselves and others. And we also write to give our understanding of life to others. It’s an important mission. It’s a calling. So don’t give up on it please, the world needs you.
Ps: I would like to dedicate this post to one of my faithful reader, Patricia, who kindly sent me a very nice email. I replied but my email bounced back. I wish you to get better soon.
Here some mantras you could use to get your mojo back:
Photo by Jan Vasek @ Pixabay ‘I have an idea for a film, a book, a play’… ‘Great! When do you start writing your first draft?’ Silence… Usually followed by: ‘Ah, it’s a complex story, I need to do more research’ or ‘Yes when I …
Photo by Colin Behrens @ Pixabay I have never liked January and its New Year resolutions time. I don’t see the point. Each year is what you DAILY make it… for 365 days. Many times, I saw people making plans and giving them up after …
It’s not you who choose a book, it’s the book that chooses you.
Have you ever come across a book that matches exactly how you felt? Or answered a question that you had in mind? Or simply felt a sudden urge to read a book?
When I was a kid, I was a lone child with no friends. My parents thought that boredom would be good for me, that it would stimulate my imagination. My options being limited, I decided to live there. In my imagination.
At school, my parents were often called by the headteacher: ‘Your daughter seems to be living with the fairies’. That fact seemed to upset everyone around me. I didn’t see where the problem was. The fairies were far nicer than my peers who often welcomed me by a ‘hey midget, did you have a fight with a mosquito last night?’ (referring to my spotty face).
At home, there was no books. My parents were too busy working, no time for reading so therefore no books.
Once, I hid in the attic of my grandma’s countryside house, among the spiders. There, I discovered a treasure: Agatha Christie and Ian Fleming (my uncle’s books). These books were old, smelled of naphthalene and humidity and I loved it. That’s how I became a bookworm.
At 11, I had a new french Teacher, Madame B. (I send her many blessings wherever she is). She asked the headmaster to make a library out of the built-in wardrobe in her class-which was granted.
One day, she called me and asked me to choose one book out of her ‘Narnia’ wardrobe.
I didn’t know what to choose, it was all a bit overwhelming. She gave me ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’. I read it within hours. Every week, I came for more: Italo Calvino, Samuel Beckett, Albert Camus….
The following year, Madame B. gave feeding instructions to my next French teacher, Madame D.: ‘This girl eats books’.
Madame D. (bless you wherever you are too) took her feeding instructions very seriously and gave me ‘Le Rouge et le Noir’ (‘The Red and The Black’) by Stendhal. It was a shock. From the first page, I couldn’t leave the book alone. When I finished it, I told her: ‘I’ll never be able to read another book again. This was the best one ever’.
Madame D., who was a beautiful human being, laughed out loud. ‘Don’t be silly, of course you will!’. She gave me other books to read: Flaubert, Boris Vian, Pascal, Balzac… I did enjoy them all but not as much as ‘The Red and the Black’. It wasn’t as… intense.
With her, however, I discovered a taste for philosophy. One day, she gave me to read Candide by Voltaire (the French equivalent of Shakespeare). Saying that I loved this book would be an understatement.
At 17, I do my Baccalauréat. My French exam is an oral where an examiner has to choose a text out of 15 books. I enter the room very nervous and wait for her to tell me the name of the book. She scrolls down her list and stops her long fingernail on a name: Candide, Voltaire.
I couldn’t believe my luck.
For 20 minutes, I couldn’t shut up. When my time was up, she said she had never met someone who knew so much about this book. She gave me the highest mark she has ever given.
I walked out of her office, feeling as tall as the Eiffel tower.
That day, I had a revelation. It wasn’t a coincidence.
All the reading moments in my life led me to that one. That book chose me, Voltaire, chose me.
Something is guiding us. The French philosopher Pascal was right.
That day, I had the confirmation about something I had suspected all my life: there is something more to life that what we are all brainwashed to believe. It’s not all about the economy.
2012. I’m married with two babies. They are my life, my reason to live. Yet, my bubbly self is gone. Whatever I do, I seem to go on downward spiral. A friend, who knows me well, is desperate to see me happy again. She puts a book in my hand: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.
I read it and I didn’t feel anything.
It was a bit too much for me, this ‘positive thinking/outcome’ thing. My life was dark, I couldn’t see any way out. I gave it back to her. She tried to convince me to look deeper into it but I wasn’t having it.
Years later, I worked in a little shop in the UK. Once a customer gave me a gift: The Secret. This book again! I thanked her and told her I had already read it. But she insisted that I should read it again. I accepted it but soon after, I passed it to another friend.
2016. Another friend gives me the same book. It couldn’t be just a coincidence. Why did it keep showing up in my life? I sat down and looked at it: ‘All right then. Show me what you’ve got’.
While I was ready to give a shot to the message of this book, something happened. Three upsetting things came up all in the same week : The council wanted to close my husband’s business, a huge debt showed up from a gas bill, and a problem with my son at school.
I started to panic but quickly I understood what was going on. I had decided to change my ways and I was being tested.
I had the choice. I could either react like I always did or I could try something new (and totally unfamiliar) and follow the guidance of a little book. I opted for the latter.
I won’t give you the details because it would bore you to death but within two weeks my three problems were gone and dusted.
The school admitted they had made a mistake, the debt was illegal so it got erased and my husband’s business kept going.
Needless to say, I didn’t sort everything out by myself, a lot of people helped us to make it right again but I looked for these people, I expected solutions to appear. And they appeared. All thanks to a book.
The book itself is irrelevant.
The last book I read was ‘Happy Money’ by Ken Honda. Before reading this book, I never thought you could put these two words together: Happy and Money.
Turned out, apparently, you can.
This book changed my perspective on money and moreover, on spending.
‘Happy Money’ was suggested to me by a friend, I followed her piece of advice and I’m glad I did.
In other words, each book carries a personal message for us. They change our perception of life and enlarge our vision. Books are Dots.
However when the book presents itself to us, we have no idea it’s a dot. It’s only looking back that you realized it was one.
As Steve jobs said: You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
2018. While on a train to London, I was reading a book from my mentor Lucy V. Hay. The woman in front of me was intrigued by it so we talked about it. I didn’t know it then, but this person was going to be one of my closest friend and also a strong business ally. A book, a dot, connected our paths and has changed my life.
In conclusion, I would invite you to observe the dots sent to you. Take it as a game if you wish. Try it for a week or two, just observe the dots, the messages, the people who are sent to you. And each time ask yourself: what is there for me to learn?
Let me know.
I would like to finish with a quote from Catherine Ann Jones: ‘What we read influences us as thought is a powerful thing — both positively and negatively. What food are you putting inside your mind?‘
Thank you for reading x
This post is dedicated to my dear friends and book whisperers Saskia and Sally Bibb.