Photo by Choreograph at Pixabay
If you’re a parent working from home, you know the drill. It’s when you’re in the middle of an important email that the kids come to you. They’re either hungry, bored, or they broke something that needs to be fixed NOW.
And if it’s not the kids, it’s a family member who decides to show up for a coffee because they need a break. As you’re a kind person, you accept and meanwhile the clock goes by and you haven’t done any work.
Of course, by the time they leave, you’re full of resentment and it’s time to do the school run or to cook dinner.
When you work from home, often people think you’re on holiday.
Therefore, your first task is to tell them that it’s not because you are physically here, that you’re available.
If they have a half a brain, they’ll get the message.
With the kids, however, it’s another matter and we’ll discuss that but before let’s define time management.
What is Time Management?
Let’s be clear about time management once for all:
Can you stretch time? Can you add an hour to your day?
Can you travel backward or forward in time?
Unless you’ve got super powers, for the majority of us, the answer is no.
So we can all agree that we cannot manage time itself. The only thing we can manage is ourselves.
1.Time Is Not Your Master, You’re Not Its Slave
In The Big Leap (great book by the way), Guy Hendricks suggests to develop a harmonious relationship with time, and ‘to stop thinking that the master is time and that we are the slaves.’ He also advises us to stop complaining about time or the lack of it.
The reason is simple. If you complain about something, you focus on it. And what you focus on, expands. The more you complain about time, the less time you get.
2. Teach Your Kids Boredom.
Our society values immediate results. The word ‘productivity’ is on every lip. Even kids are scheduled to death from the age of two (swimming lessons, play dates…). As if the rule was the more you do, the more you’re worth (which is BS by the way).
Unfortunately, people have a negative emotion towards boredom. Nevertheless, boredom is good. It makes you think. Thinking is great. People don’t have enough time to think.
Moreover, teaching boredom to kids means that they have to be creative. As a child I was left on my own all the time (I was a latchkey kid). I escaped my loneliness by reading and writing stories (of course the internet wasn’t around at that time). As a result, I very rarely bored.
3.Teach Your Family That You’re Not On Demand Like Netflix.
However, often, kids or/and partners, when they see you at home, they think you’re available on Demand like Netflix.
So the first thing to do is to set boundaries. Except that with kids, the time limit has to be shorter.
They cannot understand the concept of ‘do not disturb me between 10am to 2pm’.
Instead you have to talk in their language. ‘Mummy has something to do for work for the duration of two videos of DanTDM or Tiana (or whatever they’re into).
Once understood, work as fast as you can because they know how long a video is.
Put all your focus on that task. It’s not about being productive but about being efficient.
Then give them a reward – spend some time with them.
And repeat.
4. Think Small
Vishen Lakiani, the CEO of Mindvalley, says that we always overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in three.
It’s also true for the parents at home who often overestimates what he/she can do during the day with kids.
These days, there is an obsession to think big whereas, I suggest doing the opposite. Think small. Accumulate mini tasks. As a teacher, I always give my students mini-tasks and I tell them ‘I give you 5 minutes’. Their first reaction is always ‘Oh wait but we can’t do that in 5 minutes!’ but once they realize they actually can, they’re very pleased with themselves. Don’t underestimate what you can accomplish in 5, 10 or 15 minutes.
Having less time to work doesn’t mean that you won’t be efficient. Instead you’re going to learn to work twice faster. Your brain will actually be more productive than a person at work all day.
Add some mindfulness or meditation to your day and you’ll get superpowers. After all, as Guy Hendricks points it out, ‘Business is ultimately a spiritual path’.
5. Get Your Kids Involved In What You Do.
Kids are smart. They understand everything, even if they’re young.
I always tell my kids what I have to do, why I’ve got to do it and by when. They understand deadlines, because they have them at school. Once they know, they’re less likely to disturb you.
But there is something even better…
Get them involved; see if they can help you with small tasks. Kids love participating. They don’t feel left out and they enjoy being your little assistant.
7. Plan Your Week Ahead.
On Sundays, look at your week ahead. Make a list of your duties as a parent and a list of your working goals.
Look at your week and once you realistically block the time for the school runs, dinner time, the food shopping, cleaning and all the boring stuff… see how many hours you have to accomplish your work.
Schedule your tasks and your objectives. It’s crucial to prioritize at this point, you won’t be able to do it all.
Try to plan your meals for the week so you’re not wandering in the supermarket like a fly around a lamp shade.
Don’t work at night to catch up with work, you’ll end up cranky and tired the following day.
Plan what you’re going to wear too. It’s not because you work from home that you have to be sloppy. Wearing smart clothes will set your mood for the week. You mean business, don’t you?
8.Time Block Your Day.
Instead of scheduling each hour of your day, create blocks of time.
Most people are more productive between 10am and 2pm. if it’s your case, schedule your heavy lifting task during that time. Do the easy bits after or before that time.
Here is the secret though: you don’t have to finish a task during that time slot. If it needs more work, work on it the following day on the same time slot.
9. Learn To Say No.
Sometimes you will have an overflowing inbox of people asking you to do things for them (for free). Learning to say no is hard but necessary.
I used to say ‘yes’ all the time, too scared to miss an opportunity even if it wasn’t paid. I ended up reading novels or scripts from strangers and giving notes which represented hours of my time for nothing as a result apart from feeling exhausted.
Now before doing any work, I send my fees. Do that and I promise you, you’ll get rid of all the time wasters in no time and have respectful clients instead.
As my friend Jade Dee (Poet, screenwriter, and publisher) wrote in a poem:
‘Never waste a moment of time. It slips away so fast. The worst disrespect a person can do to you is wasting your time. Money you can earn back, but time is gone forever.’’ –Jade Dee
10. Block Some Time for Yourself and For Your Kids.
Apart from the occasional meeting, my evenings are for my kids. Period. That’s my rule. I even switch off my phone quite early at night, so I can stay fully present. We either watch a film or play a board game, but it’s our time. They need it, I need it.
I don’t know if you have noticed but I didn’t advise you to delegate. Do you know why? Because often the parent working from home has no one to delegate. (If you do, you’re very lucky, please do delegate).
Unfortunately, I know too many people where the partner undermines their partner’s work because they’re working from home. Therefore, the person working from home will still have to do the cleaning, the shopping and the school runs AND their work of course. It often ends up in burn out though. See previous post: https://pilotlightwriting.com/how-to-recover-from-burnout/
As for single parents, they can’t shout at their kids: ‘Hey today we’re not eating because I’ve got work to do’. Whether they feel like it or not, they have to do all the duties (from DIY, to cleaning, cooking and school runs) and their work too.
To regenerate and keep healthy, it’s important to block time for yourself too. Otherwise, you’re going to end up stressed out and unproductive at your job anyway. Resting is not doing nothing. Resting is the only way your body and brain recover.
You Are Rich
When your kids see you working from home, they understand what can of job you do and they put a face on your colleagues, and as a result, they feel closer to you.
Kids are also great to help you to stay in touch with new trends, new technologies, and life in general. You learn from them as much as they learn from you.
In a Japanese interview he gave in 1976, Steven Spielberg said: ‘the man who has time to spend time with his kids and his family is a very rich man’. Yes, he may haven been doing his dream job but he didn’t have time to spend time with his kids. for him, it was a big price to pay.
So consider yourself rich.
Kids need to see you are there for them, that you’re bringing them safety and love.
Looking after your children is the most difficult job on earth and definitely the most underrated.
However, you have the future generation in your hands. The generation who is going to build a better world and society. Children are magical beings, they’re our only hope. You’re doing great, I’m telling you.