So here is the situation:
You have sent your polished CV with a nice cover letter to a company that you’d love to work for OR you have sent your manuscript / spec screenplay to people you’d love to work with. You wait patiently and here it comes: the big fat NO.
Although it’s fair to say that everybody experiences it, it doesn’t make us feel any better. It hurts.
Rejection triggers old feelings of low self esteem, chronic self doubt and unworthiness.
It’s even harder when rejection becomes a repetitive habit. It can easily lead to depression.
There are 3 types of rejection:
1.The Silent Rejection: Silent But Deadly
That’s the most hurtful one.
No one takes the time to write a line to say that you are not the appropriate candidate or that your manuscript doesn’t fit their criteria.
They are so busy or overwhelmed by the number of applications that they have other priorities than letting you know. Hum…
Although it’s not right, it’s understandable. Nowadays it is very common to see one person doing the job for 2 or even 3 people. Those employees are crushed under tons of pressure at work.
My advice: Don’t take it personally. If you haven’t heard anything from them, give them a gentle nudge with a short email or phone call.
If you are still unsuccessful, move on and try somewhere else. Do not stop.
2.The Humble Rejection: When Timing Is Not Right
This one is not as harsh.
They send you an email saying that unfortunately they can’t employ you at the moment or they can’t take anymore projects this year. Well, in life, my friend, everything is about TIMING.
Years ago, I was desperate to work for a big company that was offering at the time stability and good salary. It was the best company to work for in the city I was living. It took me 5 attempts (5!!!!) until I succeeded. Why? Because the fifth time, the timing was right. So sometimes it’s worth to say don’t give up, patience is a virtue.
3.The Useful Rejection: The One With Feedback
This one is my favorite: the ‘blessing in disguise’ rejection.
Years ago, I wrote a novel I was so proud of. It took me ages to write it and meant so much to me. I sent it to a well known publisher. A month later, I received a letter saying that they would not consider my novel at this stage but amazingly they actually made the effort to tell me why. And that is PRICELESS because it gives you the chance to get better at your craft.
When I first read the letter, I wanted to cry. I slept on it and the following day, I sent them the nicest thank you card I could find (yes by post!).
Moreover they finished the letter by saying: ‘once you have finished rewriting your novel, we are looking forward to hearing from you again’. You wouldn’t believe the boost that those words gave me.
So sometimes rejection is a door that closes and opens another one.
And at other times, the door doesn’t shut completely, it stays slightly open.
So what to do when facing rejection and how to keep going?
Let’s remind ourselves that J.K Rowling has been rejected many times with her Harry Potter book. Her agent told her that she shouldn’t expect to make money out of her writing.
Another famous one is Sylvester Stallone. I can hear you laughing from here but the guy sold more than 30 screenplays and made millions out of them, so he has all my respect. He also wakes up every day at 3am to write (that is sheer determination at work!). In an interview he said something that has always stayed with me: ‘You must fail 100 times to succeed once. That’s part of it. No one succeeds the first time. You only learn when you fail, you don’t learn when you succeed’.
Did you know that Henry Ford failed and went broke 5 times before he succeeded? Louis Pasteur was considered by some of his teachers as a mediocre pupil. Albert Einstein was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. In 1933, Fred Astaire was judged by the patron of the MGM in those terms: Can’t act, can’t sing, slightly bold , can dance a little.
To finish I would like to share with you an amazing Ted Talk with Jia Jiang (What I learned from 100 Days Of Rejection), it has totally changed my perception on rejection.
Yes, rejection can be challenging but it can also be positive. Rejection is an awakening gift in disguise. It makes us question ourselves and allow us to grow.
So don’t take rejection personally. Martin Luther King once said : We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope.
Do you want more inspiration, watch this: