writing

Why Writing Is A Therapy ?

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why writing is a therapy

Photo by StockSnap @ Pixabay

Two years ago, I wrote a post called ‘Healing with Journaling’. I was a bit naive to claim that we could heal from traumas. What I should have said instead is that writing is a therapy.

So, if writing doesn’t heal traumas, it makes them more apparent. Instead of sliding them under the carpet, we acknowledge our pain, which is the first step to feel better.

Writing is therapeutic.

1. It keeps your body and mind healthy

Our society is contaminated by anxiety.

A lot of people live in fear to be judged, abandoned or rejected. As a result, life can become unbearable.

The source of anxiety is different for everyone:

  • Unemployment
  • Grief
  • Overworking
  • Separation
  • Disease
  • Ageing
  • Any type of change…

If not analyzed and expressed, this anxiety will find a way to be released often in an unhealthy way:

  • Insomnia or disturbing dreams
  • Eating disorders
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Depression
  • Sexual troubles
  • Skin problems
  • Lack of concentration and enthusiasm
  • Fear of others
  • OCD
  • Being always in a rush
  • Speaking to fast or too loud or both…

Often overlooked, writing is a powerful way to get some emotional release. It’s been proven for reducing stress and physical pain, improves memory and immune system and it also reduces anxiety, which is my point.

By writing down our pain, we honor our authentic self. We can sit down with our sadness or have a conversation with our demons. What if your  back pain wants to tell you something? What if we ask our addiction what void it’s trying to fill?

‘You’ll be amazed at the rotten things your subconscious will blurt out. Write them down.’ Julia Cameron

When the emotions come out, our clarity creates room for the change we desperately need.

2. It shifts our mood and brings back enthusiasm in our lives

While fighting cancer for five years, my goddess friend was raising her young children, as well as building a successful business and writing bestselling books. She has my deepest respect.

When she suggested starting a gratitude journal, I was uncomfortable with the idea. She told me that her first times, she was writing things such as: ‘I’m grateful that this day is finally over’. Gradually, she became more open to the beautiful things in her life; it helped her to go through hard times and to fight cancer.

So I tried it myself and I haven’t stopped since.

Often a seeming calamity is an angel in disguise. (…) What if we adapted a welcoming attitude to life, letting go of a habitual defensive or controlling attitude? What would we attract then? Catherine Ann Jones

Gratitude helps to focus on what really matters. It also increases the level of satisfaction with life. It shifts negative moods into positive ones and gets rid of the dark cloud that lingers around our head.

So I invite you to try it too. Write about one thing you feel grateful for today. Try it for a week and see the difference.

It Makes Our lives More Creative

Writing is a way to express ourselves and it’s a therapy. It’s not the only one though.

Overcoming our anxieties demands a combination of therapies.

I personally have my own combination, which is my family, my friends, my daily yoga and writing. I’m not past the grief and pain I’m going through but I know that the Universe sends me this combination to continue breathing.

Life itself is pure creativity and we are part of it. Not being creative is against our very nature. Who cares if it doesn’t come out perfectly? The aim is not to suffer while writing as pictured often in the media (the writer who cannot write a line). The writer’s block is nothing less than the fear of being wrong and being judged by others.

‘To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.’ Joseph Chilton Pearce

Creative writing allows us to connect with our inner self, to fill our potential, to explore our own mystery. Knowing ourselves is a powerful tool which has been discussed since the antiquity as if it was the key that opens many doors…

‘Be really whole and all things will come to you’. Lao Tzu

Take good care of yourself my friend x

If you like this subject, I’d suggest to read ‘Writing as a Way of Healing’ by Louise Desalvo

How to Kick-Start Your First Draft

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Writing a first draft
Photo by Jan Vasek @ Pixabay

‘I have an idea for a film, a book, a play’…

‘Great! When do you start writing your first draft?’

Silence… 

Usually followed by:

‘Ah, it’s a complex story, I need to do more research’

or

‘Yes when I quit (fill the blank) smoking, drinking, my job, my wife….

or

‘You don’t get it! This project is bigger than me!’

Oh yes, I get it.

It has a name: Procrastination which is a good friend of Fear.

Days, weeks, months, even years could go by, without writing a line on your big idea. It’s not nice.

In addition, you feel guilty about it. It’s not nice either.

So what shall we do about it?

1. Brainstorm Ideas

Firstly we brainstorm ideas. This is my favorite phase of creation.

I bubble some ideas, some characters, plots, locations. I also do some research, I read books on the topic. I watch films on the subject, I write notes in my journal. Even more efficient, I tear pictures from magazines to make a collage of my next project. It’s a messy job but it’s soooo good.

This the time when you’re allowed to be CRAZY, to have FUN, to HAVE A BLAST with your brain and your creativity.

‘To live a creative life, we must lose our fear to be wrong.’ Joseph Chilton Pearce

Don’t take months to do this phase though. One month is enough.

I can hear you from here saying: ‘But what if you haven’t finished my research?’

No worries. Move on to the next stage AND continue researching.

Don’t give all your time to research because then it becomes procrastination.

2. Organize Your Ideas and Notes

Secondly, you organize your ideas.

That’s when you discover how bonkers you are and how creative more importantly.

What you need to do is to go through all your notes and decide what to keep and what to trash. Please trust the process,  it’s all good. 

It’s also a good idea to organize the ideas that you want to keep so it’s easier to find them while you’re writing.

Give yourself a week or two to do so.

3. Structure Your Notes

Thirdly, you find the spine of your ideas. From there, as an architect, you’re going to build a solid foundation. It’s the structure. In other words, you articulate clearly what you want to say and how you want to say it. It’s storytelling.

You need to tell the story in a way that keeps everyone engaged that’s what the structure is for. It’s heavy work.

I  invite you to divide your work into small pieces. First, build up your main structure, then your scene by scene. For each one, evaluate how long it will take you to write it.

I give myself a week or two to do so.

4. Write

As I’m a lazy writer, I have small achievable targets. If they are too big, I get overwhelmed.

Some people like setting targets in terms of word count (500 words to 2000 words a day). Personally, I set my targets in terms of time I have available to write. I don’t bother with how many words I put on the page, as long as I write something.

How do I kick-start each writing session? I tell myself: ‘Let’s write for five minutes’.

Five minutes is not scary, right? So I go for it.

Consequently, I never write for five minutes. It’s always between 30 minutes and two hours. However, if I had said to myself ‘let’s write for half an hour’, I would have scared myself too much and find excuses not to write.

So put some music on, create a space for your creativity and just write.

Studies have shown that writing reduces stress faster than walking. So take it as a relaxing time for yourself.

A deadline of 2-4 months to write your first draft seems reasonable.

Please don’t expect to be brilliant on your first draft. It won’t be.

Hemingway said: ‘The first draft of anything is shit.’

That’s a good reason not to worry about it. You can relax your shoulders and enjoy the process. Have a blast! 

‘The need to produce a great work of art makes it hard to produce any art at all.’ Julia Cameron

I find it reassuring actually. It allows you to be bad writer and to make mistakes. It’s easier to write a bad prose than good one. Aim for excellence at the re-writes. And that’s another story…

Good luck!

Step by Step Easy Business Plan for Artists & Writers

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Photo by Jess Bailey @ Pixabay

Why would you spend time on a business plan?  Probably because it’s the first step to take your artistic career seriously.

‘A goal without a plan is just a wish’ Antoine de St Exupéry

If you’re driving, unsure of the roads to take, you have great probabilities to get lost. But if you have planned your journey, chances are, you will reach your destination.

Of course, sitting down trying to forecast projects and numbers can be quite daunting. This is why I have prepared a business template for Artists and Writers super easy for you.

Step 1: Only Do Projects that Give You a High

If you know you’re going to be working on halfhearted projects, you’ll end up discouraged and will not finish them.

In other words, your projects should excite you. They should be in alignment with your purpose. They should make you FEEL GOOD. 

‘’Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything’’ Napoleon Hill

Step 2: Don’t Overload Your Business Plan

It’s tempting to cram many projects in one year but it can also be a great factor for giving up everything.

Only three to four big projects a year seem more manageable. Do only one project at a time, so you can stay fully focused on it and thus you become more efficient.

Moreover, the other reason for not overloading your business plan is to have enough room for FUN.

‘Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous.  That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor.’ Paul Hawken.

It will also fuel your creativity in amazing ways.

Step 3: Visualize the Outcome But Don’t Focus On It

 ‘Intention is one with cause and effect. Intention determines outcome. And if you’re stuck and not moving forward, you have to check the thought and action that created the circumstance’. Oprah Winfrey.

While it is crucial to visualize your end goal and feel the good vibrations of the finish product, don’t focus exclusively on the outcome. The outcome is not up to you. Of course, it’s nice to imagine being a bestselling author but you won’t be able to control the buying of your books. Your audience will decide if they’re going to buy or not.

Your job is to make an amazing product. Visualize a happy outcome but focus on your day to day task, to make this project wonderful and irresistible.

Step 4: Take Action and Show Up Everyday

You must hear it, read it, and see it all the time: Take action.

Easier said than done, right?

When we’re ready to rock and roll often Procrastination kicks in. Not nice. Suddenly we don’t feel like working on our projects, and we end up doing something else, such as watching TV for instance, feeling bad about ourselves.

Here is my one million dollar trick: Take action for FIVE minutes a day. Too much? OK then, try ONE minute a day.

Each time I don’t feel like writing, I tell my brain: ‘OK, let’s do this for one minute.’ 

Next thing I know, I worked on that thing for an hour.

This is as simple as that.

Step 5: Be Kind to Yourself

Even if your inner voice is shouting: ‘You’re not good enough’ make a point to do it anyway. Override that nasty voice with some feel good music and get on with whatever you’ve got to do.

Make sure you take care of your whole being too: soul (meditate), mind (read) and body (exercise).  It’s all connected and intertwined.  

Allow yourself to have some time off too, to recharge your batteries. I’ve seen it many times, I’ve been there myself. Burnout is real. It’s horrible.

Being nice to yourself also means to be ruthless with distractions. Since I turned off all my notifications, I feel much calmer. Okay I admit it, sometimes I’m missing some messages on the spot but my pulse stays stable. I look at my messages or my emails when I’m ready to do so, not while I’m working.

Also don’t beat yourself up when you fail.

‘Every adversity, even failure, every heartache, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit’ napoleon Hill

Failure is part of success. If you look at the people who succeeded, they all had a big disappointment. They didn’t let failure define them. They cried and carried on.

Life happens. Sometimes a life event might disturb your plan. Take one thing at a time.  Take a break from everything. All you need to do is re-adjust your plan for the future, that’s all.  Trust in the process of creation and its perfect timing.

Intense belief + Firm intention + Intense dedication: Manifesting your desires.

Wishing you my best wishes for your creative plans.

It’s Time To Shine Your Light

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Photo by Colin Behrens @ Pixabay

I have never liked January and its New Year resolutions time.  I don’t see the point. Each year is what you DAILY make it… for 365 days.

Many times, I saw people making plans and giving them up after a few weeks…

‘Man makes plans… and God laughs’ wrote the Author and Screenwriter Michael Chabon.

Why do we expect so much from ourselves?

Is it to justify our presence on Earth?

Answers are often found in Nature

I often find answers in Nature.

I love observing Nature around me, trees especially. In shamanism, they are called ‘The Plant people and the Standing People’.

Trees grow tall and strong knowing their purpose. They don’t ask themselves ‘What should I do with my life?’

They just are. They exist and make the world better (by providing oxygen for instance).

Us, the human kind, we have a brain and a heart. With these gifts, we should know what to do. Yet, we probably are the only species on Earth wondering what our purpose is.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Life is Chaos

Life is chaos.

I know what I’m talking about. Within two years, I lost my home, my beloved country, some close friends, my dignity, and my husband.  None of these events were planned or thought. None of these things were part of my ‘plan’. They just happened to me.

Yes, life is chaos and any form of co-creation (coming from the heart) is a way to express or explain this chaos.  

When you lose it all, you see everything clearly.

First you see who are ‘your allies’, to quote my dear friend and mentor Lucy V. Hay (Bang2Write).  The allies are the ones who pick you up when you fall but also help you to fight back. ‘You can’t do without them’, she says. She is right. As always.

My other Friend and mentor, Kary Oberbrunner, wrote it in his life-changing book Unhackable that there are three types of people:

The Consumer, the critic, the creator.

The consumer consumes, probably to feed their emptiness with stuff.

The critic critics. Spotting the mistakes in others reassures them.

And Creators create. To me, this type is never reassured. They try, they test, and stumble often but they know their purpose. When creators let go of expectations, they become unrestricted and inspiring.

Simplicity

When you hit rock bottom, your needs become simple: food, shelter and love.

If you have those three things in your life, it’s a blessing. Millions of people on Earth do not have that.

When you fall, you realised that friends and family are what count in life.

On your death bed, the number of zeros on your bank account or your job title will do nothing for you. People make the difference.

People you love are the ones who are going to make your life meaningful.

Pilot Light Writing

That’s why I have changed the name of my website. It used to be called Inside the Writers Bubble but I felt quite lonely inside my bubble.

My friend and Shaman Catherine Maguire (https://www.inlightenment.it/) said to me,’ your gift is to light other people’s light, you’re a pilot light’. From there, another dear friend – the author Sally Bibb and my brother-in-law – Daniel helped me to put the pieces together.

And that’s how Pilot Light Writing is born.

We can’t do it on our own.

I am not interested in consuming or criticising.

I’m interested in bringing love into everything I do, so I can help other people who love what they do, to shine too.

We can’t get rid of the darkness or the shadow in this world. We can only bring light inside it.

So be shiny my friend. x

This post is dedicated in loving memory of my late husband, who will be missed forever.

Candle Image by Andreas Lischka from Pixabay

It’s Not You Who Choose the Book, it’s the Book that chooses you

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Photo montage by Daniel Gardiner

Dot 1: Books are Magical Things

It’s not you who choose a book, it’s the book that chooses you.

Have you ever come across a book that matches exactly how you felt? Or answered a question that you had in mind? Or simply felt a sudden urge to read a book?

When I was a kid, I was a lone child with no friends. My parents thought that boredom would be good for me, that it would stimulate my imagination. My options being limited, I decided to live there. In my imagination.

At school, my parents were often called by the headteacher: ‘Your daughter seems to be living with the fairies’. That fact seemed to upset everyone around me. I didn’t see where the problem was. The fairies were far nicer than my peers who often welcomed me by a ‘hey midget, did you have a fight with a mosquito last night?’ (referring to my spotty face).

At home, there was no books. My parents were too busy working, no time for reading so therefore no books.

Once, I hid in the attic of my grandma’s countryside house, among the spiders. There, I discovered a treasure: Agatha Christie and Ian Fleming (my uncle’s books).  These books were old, smelled of naphthalene and humidity and I loved it. That’s how I became a bookworm.

Dot 2: When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears

At 11, I had a new french Teacher, Madame B.  (I send her many blessings wherever she is). She asked the headmaster to make a library out of the built-in wardrobe in her class-which was granted.

One day, she called me and asked me to choose one book out of her ‘Narnia’ wardrobe.  

I didn’t know what to choose, it was all a bit overwhelming.  She gave me ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’. I read it within hours. Every week, I came for more: Italo Calvino, Samuel Beckett, Albert Camus….

The following year, Madame B. gave feeding instructions to my next French teacher, Madame D.: ‘This girl eats books’.

Madame D. (bless you wherever you are too) took her feeding instructions very seriously and gave me ‘Le Rouge et le Noir’ (‘The Red and The Black’) by Stendhal.  It was a shock. From the first page, I couldn’t  leave the book alone.  When I finished it, I told her: ‘I’ll never be able to read another book again. This was the best one ever’.

Madame D., who was a beautiful human being, laughed out loud. ‘Don’t be silly, of course you will!’. She gave me other books to read: Flaubert,  Boris Vian, Pascal, Balzac… I did enjoy them all but not as much as ‘The Red and the Black’.  It wasn’t as… intense.

With her, however, I discovered a taste for philosophy. One day, she gave me to read Candide by Voltaire (the French equivalent of Shakespeare). Saying that I loved this book would be an understatement.

At 17, I do my Baccalauréat. My French exam is an oral where an examiner has to choose a text out of 15 books. I enter the room very nervous and wait for her to tell me the name of the book. She scrolls down her list and stops her long fingernail on a name: Candide, Voltaire.

I couldn’t believe my luck.

For 20 minutes, I couldn’t shut up. When my time was up, she said she had never met someone who knew so much about this book. She gave me the highest mark she has ever given.

I walked out of her office, feeling as tall as the Eiffel tower.

That day, I had a revelation. It wasn’t a coincidence.

All the reading moments in my life led me to that one. That book chose me, Voltaire, chose me.

Something is guiding us. The French philosopher Pascal was right.

That day, I had the confirmation about something I had suspected all my life: there is something more to life that what we are all brainwashed to believe. It’s not all about the economy.

Dot 3. People Give You Books For a Reason

2012. I’m married with two babies. They are my life, my reason to live. Yet, my bubbly self is gone. Whatever I do, I seem to go on downward spiral. A friend, who knows me well, is desperate to see me happy again. She puts a book in my hand: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

I  read it and I didn’t feel anything.

It was a bit too much for me, this ‘positive thinking/outcome’ thing. My life was dark, I couldn’t see any way out.  I gave it back to her. She tried to convince me to look deeper into it but I wasn’t having it.

Years later, I worked in a little shop in the UK. Once a customer gave me a gift: The Secret. This book again! I thanked her and told her I had already read it. But she insisted that I should read it again. I accepted it but soon after, I passed it to another friend.

2016.  Another friend gives me the same book. It couldn’t be just a coincidence. Why did it keep showing up in my life? I sat down and looked at it: ‘All right then. Show me what you’ve got’.

While I was ready to give a shot to the message of this book, something happened.  Three upsetting things came up all in the same week : The council wanted to close my husband’s business, a huge debt showed up from a gas bill, and a problem with my son at school. 

I started to panic but quickly I understood what was going on. I had decided to change my ways and I was being tested.

I had the choice. I could either react like I always did or I could try something new (and totally unfamiliar) and follow the guidance of a little book. I opted for the latter.

I won’t give you the details because it would bore you to death but within two weeks my three problems were gone and dusted.

The school admitted they had made a mistake, the debt was illegal so it got erased and my husband’s business kept going.

Needless to say, I didn’t sort everything out by myself, a lot of people helped us to make it right again but I looked for these people, I expected solutions to appear. And they appeared. All thanks to a book.

Dot 4. Life is about connecting the Dots

The book itself is irrelevant.

The last book I read was ‘Happy Money’ by Ken Honda. Before reading this book, I never thought you could put these two words together: Happy and Money.

Turned out, apparently, you can.

This book changed my perspective on money and moreover, on spending.

‘Happy Money’ was suggested to me by a friend, I followed her piece of advice and I’m glad I did.

In other words, each book carries a personal message for us. They change our perception of life and enlarge our vision. Books are Dots.

However when the book presents itself to us, we have no idea it’s a dot. It’s only looking back that you realized it was one.

As Steve jobs said: You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

2018. While on a train to London, I was reading a book from my mentor Lucy V. Hay. The woman in front of me was intrigued by it so we talked about it. I didn’t know it then, but this person was going to be one of my closest friend and also a strong business ally. A book, a dot, connected our paths and has changed my life.

In conclusion, I would invite you to observe the dots sent to you. Take it as a game if you wish. Try it for a week or two, just observe the dots, the messages, the people who are sent to you. And each time ask yourself: what is there for me to learn?

Let me know.

I would like to finish with a quote from Catherine Ann Jones: ‘What we read influences us as thought is a powerful thing — both positively and negatively. What food are you putting inside your mind?‘

Thank you for reading x

This post is dedicated to my dear friends and book whisperers Saskia and Sally Bibb.

7 Ways To Boost Your Writing Session

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OK. You have a few minutes ahead to write something. Great!
Except that you don’t know where to start and you are staring at a blank screen.
Not good.

So today, I have put together some tricks that could give you the little push that you need to get that writing done.

1- Write In Front Of Your Audience

Robert Cialdini, who wrote the excellent Pre-Suasion, A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade, explains that his best writing is often produced when he sits behind a window watching people passing by, rather than at his quiet desk.
 
Bernard Werber (French novelist), who writes a bestseller a year, always starts his day writing at his favorite café in Paris. Not only does it keep him away from procrastination but it also inspires him to write for the audience that he has in front of him.
 

Watching people passing by (i.e. your target audience) is far better than writing on your own. It also increases the chances of your book, screenplay or play being bankable. 

2 - Match Your Writing With Music

In Pre-Suasion, Cialdini also explains a marketing experiment: When supermarkets play French music, French wine sales increase. Strange? Not so much once you know that everything around us influences our subconscious.
 
Knowing that fact, why not use it to your advantage? Are you writing a drama? Have you tried writing while listening to Max Richter?
 
If Fantasy is more your thing, have you tried listening to mystical forest music?
 
Find the music that works for you and you’ll definitely notice a change in your writing.
 
Music increases the level of dopamine in our bodies and also taps into the deepest emotions held in our subconscious. And as writers, that’s exactly what we need: feel and create deep emotions.
 

3 - The Zeigarnik Effect

Another tip that I have learned from Cialdini (and this one is priceless), is The Zeigarnik effect:
Never finish a writing session at the end of a paragraph. Why?
 
Because the brain doesn’t like unfinished tasks.
Finish the paragraph half way through, it will nag you until you get to the end.
So don’t allow yourself to finish it until your next writing session, it’s the best way to get back on it the following day.
 

4 - Don't Wait For The Inspiration To Come

 
I got this tip from one of my favorite anti-self-help book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.
 
When the task is huge, we don’t even know where to start. And often, because of that, we don’t start at all (and beat ourselves up for it).
 
Mark Manson offers the best formula against it:
 

Action → Inspiration → Motivation

If you have no inspiration, don’t sit and think about it, start writing. Start typing. Do some research, work on it.
 
Even if you don’t know what you are doing. The simple fact of working on it will generate the right ideas to show up in your head.
 
So forget inspiration, start without it. Trust me, that’s when it shows up!
 

5 - The Power of Mini Goals

The brain is not good with long term goals. The further it is set in the future, the more likely you’ll become demotivated. I am not suggesting you shouldn’t have long term aspirations, I am simply saying pave your long term plan with small, easy and achievable goals in between.
 
After the achievement of your mini-goal, celebrate and reward yourself. Even if the world around you doesn’t find it impressive. Who cares? The most important thing is what you think.
 

6 - Do Something Else

It’s very often when we decide to give up temporarily that great ideas come to us. Doing the washing up, playing guitar or walking the dog are great for writer’s block. Reading about different topics from your story is also a great way to feed the project that you are working on. Although it may seem unrelated, your brain will make a way to establish a connection with your writing and unlock a new set of ideas.
 
So read this book on the origins of Jujitsu or binge watch The Leftovers, Peaky Blinders or The Affair. Even though you think you are not working, don’t worry because your brain is!
 

7 - Don't Put Yourself Down And Don't Aim for Perfection

It’s always when we are ready to write that comes this nasty little voice inside our head telling us that what we are writing is irrelevant, useless or pointless. Don’t listen to it. Don’t. Because if you do, you’ll get nothing done. Overcome it by telling yourself that surely, somewhere on the planet someone will like it and keep writing.
 
Good luck!