Photo Montage Daniel Gardiner
Born Depressed
Virginia Woolf, Anne Rice, Paul Verlaine, Stephen King… for many writers, depression is not an unknown guest and often takes its roots in early childhood.
The reasons might differ – emotional or physical abuse, abandonment, neglect… the list can be long. The child, future writer, often grows up with a dark cloud around his/her head and a story to tell.
Misunderstood
However, this child will often do his/her best to keep everything inside which will make connection with other people almost impossible. The writer is often a misunderstood creature.
The child writer will then decide: ‘I don’t do people. I’ll do books instead, they’re friendlier’.
After finding some answers in books, the child writer will write a story or two or will do some journaling.
One day the child/teenager will make another decision: I want to be a writer. The young writer is dead serious about it, yet people laugh at this statement. Why? Because ‘being a writer is not a job’.
And they are right.
Writing is not a job.
It’s a divine calling.
Errors and Trials
As a beginner, the writer will do everything BUT write his or her painful story. Writers will start writing about something that doesn’t touch their heart. Something that won’t put the light on the big elephant in the room.
As they wrote a meaningless story, people will read it and say ‘so what?’ And that hurts their feelings.
What the novice writer doesn’t know, is that he/she is learning the craft.
Mediocre writing is VITAL if the writer wants to get better.
They need to write again and again. Soon enough, the writer will realize that if she/he wants to get noticed, he/she needs to let the demons out and write about something that triggers a strong emotion.
The Writer is Born
Writers at work will bleed at every sentence, will put their guts on paper, will walk through dark tunnels and will live with uncomfortable thoughts.
Once the piece is written, and if proactive, the writer will send his/her work at every publisher, agent, manager, producer, editor… If they’re lucky, they get a rejection letter.
Otherwise, they’ll be ignored which is the worst kind of rejection.
Rejection is unpleasant; it affects the writer’s self-esteem. If combined with another emotional knock-back such as a breakup, a divorce, problems at work, loss or unemployment, the dark cloud becomes bigger and thicker than ever before.
See post: Dealing with Rejection
The Fall
If not looked after, the writer could fall in the trap of addictions.
Indeed, the depressed writer will find ways to shut down the voices inside telling him or her that ‘they don’t have it; they are unworthy and should stop writing’. As a writer is often a lone wolf, he/she can sink into deep depression without anyone noticing. In self-doubt, the writer is tempted to give everything up.
The Awakening
Then one day, the writer will learn to treat depression as an ally and not as an enemy. He/she will see it as a sign, an inner voice that needs to be heard, a problem that needs to be addressed or even better, a story that needs to be told.
As the writer has learned to tell a story, he/she will spend time a lifetime learning about human nature. Soon enough, he/she will understand a strange fact: everybody is in pain, everybody struggles.
That’s the true beauty behind the writer: feeling empathy and compassion for others. She/he can feel his own pain but also others’.
His/her main skill is the capacity to put himself inside everyone’s shoes: old, young, wild, poor, rich, shy, gay, straight, man, woman, black, white, a single mother, a doctor, a womanizer… It can be pretty messy inside his/her head. Borderline schizophrenic even.
But this pain will fuel the writer’s creativity. He/she will use it to connect with people, to be relieved from past traumas, to transmute unmet needs, to give inspiration.
See post: Journaling for Healing
The Return
After each defeat, the writer learns to bounce back like a ball. He/she will get used to rejection. Of course, he or she will be affected, but not as much as before.
The writer is both sensitive and tough. He/she is both depressed and strong. He/she is a dreamer and a business person.
The writer spends hours writing stories to entertain the world, to help people to think, to react, to act, to dream, to hope…
A writer is an alchemist who is able to transmute feelings and experiences into words of wisdom.
And yes, the writer will not touch everybody’s souls. He will touch one person or more and that will make his/her day.
So dear writer, please don’t give up: Someone out there needs your stories. Keep writing.
Thank you 🙏 for the encouraging words….
Thank you for your kind words 🙏
Wow. That’s exactly right. I guess I need to go read your healing post, because I’m stuck in a loop and can’t seem to get out. Thanks for the glimmer of Hope.
Thanks again Laura 🙏
Thank you as I have been in treatment for many years for depression anxiety etc. I have known since I was in the second grade something wasn’t right
Dear Kimberly,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sorry to hear that you have been suffering from depression and anxiety for many years. I know too well how you must feel. It’s not easy, I know. As I suggested it to one of my reader on my post Journaling for healing, maybe you could have a look at Catherine Ann Jones’ work on https://www.dailyom.com/. Her work helped me to accept this uncomfortable state of being and work with it instead of fighting it.
Sending you my best wishes,
with love,
Sophie
Reading this, I realized how much of myself you described. For many won’t mean a thing, but for me… it’s exactly what I needed to hear/read. Thank you!😊
I’m glad you enjoyed this post Maya. Your comment is exactly what I needed to hear/read today. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Bravo! You nailed this process to a tee.
Thank you so much. 🙏
Beautiful words of wisdom!
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Well said. You’ve outlined the process beautifully.
Thank you for your kind words Kary, it means a lot to me.